Trans Day of Visibility (TDoV) is a day to recognize a small but mighty and resilient community. TDoV is an international day that was founded by Michigan-based transgender activist Rachel Crandall in 2009 as a reaction to the lack of acknowledging and celebrating living members of the transgender community. TDoV is a reminder and encouragement that there are people still fighting in the struggle of trans individuals, bringing attention to the accomplishments of transgender individuals, and how we are moving forward as a community and as allies.

Today in reflecting on the accomplishments of individuals in the trans community, I reflect on some of the most amazing trans activist I know and have known. However, in honor of TDoV a close friend and colleague of mine comes to mind. I met her almost 10 years ago and she would try to work 7 days a week, mentored other trans women, and was dedicated to making the trans community better. But she also suffered from her own challenges of trading one addiction for another, wanting a better life for herself and her family, and getting that by any means necessary. When I confronted her about the contradictory behavior of her addiction to money and what that was doing to the community she was serving, she could not hear that message. Unfortunately, she lost she lost 3 ½ years of her life in the prison industrial complex; a system that is only set up to further marginalize trans women of color. But she was determined to rise like a phoenix to create a better lifer for herself and the communities that she identifies with. She could of settled for being defeated, feeling as though she was not worthy of being a prominent member of society, and could have given up on being the women that she has always sought out to be. She didn’t! Today, I celebrate my friend and colleague, as the Executive Director of an amazing advocacy organization, a mentor and role model to trans women all over the country, and is the voice for so many trans individuals that haven’t found theirs. I must admit to all of you as well, she has also been the mentor and activist that I have strived to be.

The other part of this blog that I wanted to share with all of you for TDoV is that there are many cultures that acknowledge gender variant individuals, the variety of roles each person can hold in a community, and that gender is more fluid then the box that greater society tries to put it in. The terms that are used are inclusive, non-discriminatory, and are still used to this day. Personally, I have found this common in many native communities; however, I haven’t researched every culture nor do I profess to know everything about transgender individuals. I do encourage anyone who wants to be an ally to know the communities that they are apart of, work with, or want to be better aligned with to study the variety of cultures, do some research before asking 90 questions, and don’t make assumptions about anyone.

I did some of my own research and asked some of my esteemed colleagues and friends about how to be a better ally and how I can, as the SquishyLady be a better ally and advocate. What I was told was to be informed, to do our research, and to be nice to other people even if you don’t know their gender or pronoun preference. One of my former colleagues and friends told me to continue to be the mentor that I have been to her since the day she walked into my office and the others that I have worked with and supported. She said to continue to provide the unconditional non-judgment that I have shown her, the encouragement to be and have anything that you want, and to hold her accountable to be the best person that she can be. She said to me that by doing this it has helped her to be stronger, more powerful, and move in a life affirming direction. I want to celebrate her in this and acknowledge that she too has worked hard to be the woman she dreamed of becoming through hard work on self and in the community and seeking out the people that love her to guide her to that path. I share this with all of you to say, that if we as allies, lead with humility, non-judgment, learn about the communities that we align ourselves with, and treat people with the respect that you would want to receive. I will tell you that this is my greatest step toward being an ally in the trans community. I invite you to do the same and to celebrate the accomplishments, successes, and resiliency of the transgender community. Happy Trans Day of Visibility! #squishytalk

SquishyLady

Original Post: Mar 31, 2016 @ 08:59