The ways in which we communicate with our partner either creates healthier lines of communication or cuts them off all together. We communicate both verbally and nonverbally to our partners and this conveys the way in which we feel about situations and how our partners might respond. Communication is something that we learn from our families and the people around us. If we are taught not to share our feelings or keep all of our actions a secret, then likely we will be challenged with sharing our feelings or communicating about our needs and wants. As well, if we have tried to communicate to other people in the past and it has not been well received, then we are likely not going to share our feelings because we believe that person isn’t going to listen anyways. On the other end of that spectrum is when you have tried to communicate and it turns into a big fight and you both act crazy, doing things you wish you never did.
My favorite example that I like to share with people is this. Let’s say that my old man doesn’t come home for days at a time and I’m like where the BLEEP have you been. He tells me that he was out getting some squishy (sex) and I go into our room and gather up all of his belongings and take them out front and light them on fire. How many times do you think that he is going to come home and tell me where he has been or what he has been doing. If he was out having unprotected sex with another person then he is putting me directly at risk, but we can’t even talk about it because he knows that I am going to act erratic and possibly do crazy things. The other part of that is that we often stay in these unhealthy types of relationships and forgive our partners, but the truth of the matter is it can happen again and he won’t tell me because I act crazy when he tells me the truth.
Now let’s try to switch up this scenario and let’s say that my old lady doesn’t come home for days at a time and I’m like where the BLEEP have you been? She tells me that she was getting some squishy (sex) and I tell her that she has to sleep on the couch, we need to start using barriers, and that we both need to be tested. This is a very different conversation then me lighting her stuff on fire and hopefully it builds a line of communication to discuss what happened and where she has been. This line of communication is healthier and keeps everyone involved safer.
Our reactions, our communication, and how we engage with our partners can determine what they are willing to share with us or not. This is not full proof and not everyone is willing to tell the truth or is too afraid to tell the truth, but it is a step in cultivating healthier communication and possibly protecting our health. #squishytalk
SquishyLady
Original Post: Nov 1, 2015 @ 09:38